In my quest to give up multitasking and be mindful in everything, it is important to acknowledge the failures and celebrate the small victories along the way. I am all too familiar with failure - just the other day, I caught myself only half tuning in on a phone call because I was trying to read something at the same time - the bad news: my addiction to and dependence on technology exacerbates this failing, the good news: I actually realized I was doing it and so I could choose to stop! A very tiny victory, to be sure, but still a baby step of progress. Being aware, mindful, helps me to live more fully and see the choices I am making in each moment - and therefore to call into question whether I have chosen the best way to spend that moment. I think most of us, certainly I do it, live on autopilot a lot of the time. Have you ever had the experience while driving along a familiar monotonous road that you suddenly become aware that you don't know exactly where you are because your mind has been engaged elsewhere? I have and it is terrifying to think I have been operating a couple of tons of machinery with such casual indifference. How much more terrifying is it to realize you have been coasting through a day, a week, a lifetime, on autopilot - doing, but not really living? Being mindful in relationships with people is challenging but the solution and focus is at least obvious: just stop. and listen...fully.
Blessings,
Janet
Monday, January 12, 2015
Sunday, January 4, 2015
A Recovering Multi-tasker
Stop, drop and roll....Stop, look, and listen...yes, that last one seems more appropriate! Anyway, the point is, I am learning to stop. And listen. I am trying to consciously NOT multitask - a talent I have heretofore honed and have prided myself on mastering. But there is a lot lost in the efficiency that comes from multitasking - you cannot, by definition, focus and be mindful when you are juggling multiple things. And the older I get, the more I realize I cannot read and listen at the same time, or watch TV and listen at the same time. I end up missing critical sections of one or the other. So I have resolved to stop watching or reading or doing and really listen when my children talk to me - they are nearly grown now, and both being musicians, they often speak to each other and to me in "music-eze" or about musical nuances or to share funny things they find on the internet. I love that they think to involve me in their lives and interests and I am honored, so I listen so I won't miss any of this thing called relationship - it is so rewarding! And I resolve to stop and really listen when I answer a phone call, no more reading email, or entering data into my banking software while someone on the other end of the phone is needing my undivided attention. I will make an exception for those annoying calls where you end up on hold listening to impossibly painful "music" to let you know they haven't accidentally disconnected the call - those are the whole reason the speakerphone feature was invented and they absolutely call for multitasking...but other than that, I am on my journey as a recovering multi-tasker. One day at a time.
Does mutitasking affect your ability to listen, or is it just me?
Blessings,
Janet
Does mutitasking affect your ability to listen, or is it just me?
Blessings,
Janet
Friday, January 2, 2015
It's a new day...thank you God
Hi there,
So yesterday was January 1st, the first new day of a new year...an opportunity for a fresh start, for me to begin practicing mindfulness. And already, I have blown it. I am assuming that mindfulness extends to thinking before you eat - in which case, my weakness for Chinese food, and the availability of the lunch buffet, is the root of all evil. I don't eat Chinese food all that often, but when I do, I have my favorites - and none of them scream "healthy", exactly. So yesterday, I mindfully filled my plate with my favorites and I ate them - and chatted with our friends who had joined the excursion...it was nice and quite civilized. I ate with chopsticks for a while - their main purpose being to slow me down since I am not particularly chopstick proficient...and then it happened. My plate was empty, my stomach was full - I had even waited long enough (probably with the help of said chopsticks) for my brain to recognize that my stomach was full and yet...I still loaded another plate with more. And once it was on my plate I inevitably ate it. WHY?? Why do I do what I know is not good? How can I be such a creature of rationalization even when I am TRYING to be MINDFUL?
I am grateful I don't have to wait for a new year for another fresh start. I can start with a new day or even a new moment. It is comforting to know that St. Paul had the same issues...well, not with Chinese food particularly, but he admits in his letter to the Romans "I don't do what I want to do and I do what I don't want to do" (paraphrase). A fresh start, a new creation in Christ...I am hopefully becoming one. It is a very slow process.
How are you doing with your New Year's Resolutions?
Blessings,
Janet
So yesterday was January 1st, the first new day of a new year...an opportunity for a fresh start, for me to begin practicing mindfulness. And already, I have blown it. I am assuming that mindfulness extends to thinking before you eat - in which case, my weakness for Chinese food, and the availability of the lunch buffet, is the root of all evil. I don't eat Chinese food all that often, but when I do, I have my favorites - and none of them scream "healthy", exactly. So yesterday, I mindfully filled my plate with my favorites and I ate them - and chatted with our friends who had joined the excursion...it was nice and quite civilized. I ate with chopsticks for a while - their main purpose being to slow me down since I am not particularly chopstick proficient...and then it happened. My plate was empty, my stomach was full - I had even waited long enough (probably with the help of said chopsticks) for my brain to recognize that my stomach was full and yet...I still loaded another plate with more. And once it was on my plate I inevitably ate it. WHY?? Why do I do what I know is not good? How can I be such a creature of rationalization even when I am TRYING to be MINDFUL?
I am grateful I don't have to wait for a new year for another fresh start. I can start with a new day or even a new moment. It is comforting to know that St. Paul had the same issues...well, not with Chinese food particularly, but he admits in his letter to the Romans "I don't do what I want to do and I do what I don't want to do" (paraphrase). A fresh start, a new creation in Christ...I am hopefully becoming one. It is a very slow process.
How are you doing with your New Year's Resolutions?
Blessings,
Janet
Thursday, January 1, 2015
new year, new start
Hi there! It's January first and time for a fresh start...again.
About me: I'm a single mother of two nearly grown children (college age and graduate school) and one neurotic cat, a daughter, sister, friend, terrifyingly self-employed interior designer, and avid cook.
I was challenged by a friend to choose one word to concentrate on for the year. The first one that popped into my mind was "discipline", which I immediately rejected - too depressing for my "out of the box" thinking personality - I break out in a cold sweat just thinking about having to live in a routine and discipline sounds a lot like that kind of life. I know it isn't really, but I floated through a lot of words that might make sense...joyfulness, gratitude, hope...and I may use one of those next year, but the one that kept coming back to me was mindfulness. SO, mindfulness it is.
This blog was created to document my real life journey of faith, fears, struggles, and triumphs in my not so splendid life as I try to be mindful this year - being fully present and thinking before acting - listening before speaking...
Do you have a word of the year? What did you choose?
Blessings,
Janet
About me: I'm a single mother of two nearly grown children (college age and graduate school) and one neurotic cat, a daughter, sister, friend, terrifyingly self-employed interior designer, and avid cook.
I was challenged by a friend to choose one word to concentrate on for the year. The first one that popped into my mind was "discipline", which I immediately rejected - too depressing for my "out of the box" thinking personality - I break out in a cold sweat just thinking about having to live in a routine and discipline sounds a lot like that kind of life. I know it isn't really, but I floated through a lot of words that might make sense...joyfulness, gratitude, hope...and I may use one of those next year, but the one that kept coming back to me was mindfulness. SO, mindfulness it is.
This blog was created to document my real life journey of faith, fears, struggles, and triumphs in my not so splendid life as I try to be mindful this year - being fully present and thinking before acting - listening before speaking...
Do you have a word of the year? What did you choose?
Blessings,
Janet
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